How to Find Your Love Language and Use it for Yourself
One reason so many people have learned about the 5 Love Languages is so that they could learn how to improve communication barriers and improve their relationships with their partners. Understanding the 5 Love Languages can help individuals identify reoccurring conflicts in their relationships and implement what they have learned to better connect with others in a more meaningful way. If you are unfamiliar with the 5 Love Languages or need a quick refresher, here’s a rundown of the 5 Love Languages discovered by Gary Chapman
- Words of Affirmation (this language uses words to affirm other people)
- Acts of Service (this language is for those who believe actions speak louder than words)
- Receiving Gifts (for some, receiving gifts is what makes them feel most loved)
- Quality Time (this language is all about giving the other person your attention)
- Physical Touch (this language represents appropriate physical touch)
Understanding your partners main love languages can help you better give and receive love to that person, but what about yourself? Often times when we talk about love languages it is in relation to a partner but something that I think is even more important than understanding your partners Love Language, is understanding your own.
Knowing your love language can help you improve your self-care and relationship with yourself and is something that you can easily practice during your everyday routine.
For me personally, my primary love language is words of affirmation and my second is acts of service (here is the link to the Love Language Quiz where you can find your love language results https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/singles-quiz/ ). Knowing that words of affirmation is my primary Love Language, doing things like verbally encouraging myself, speaking to myself kindly, positive self-talk, and daily affirmations are all practices I can use that relate to my self-love language. Also knowing that acts of service is my second Love Language I can incorporate doing kind things for myself like therapy, cleaning, or buying myself flowers every week to show myself appreciation.
If you don’t already know your Love Language, I highly suggest you take the quiz and start implementing small acts of self-care that relate to your primary language and see if you notice a difference in how you feel. I provided a list of common/easy acts of self-care that you can use based on each Love Language below.
- Words of Affirmation
- Positive self-talk
- Daily Affirmations
- Verbal encouragement
- Acts of Service
- Planner/Planning activities
- Receiving Gifts
- Investing in yourself
- Little gifts
- Doing crafty projects
- Buying your favorite meals
- Quality Time
- Date alone
- Spending time on favorite hobbies
- Physical Touch
- Moving your body (gym, hiking outside, etc.)
- Massages or other pampering activities
- Skin care
- Feeling cozy
Don’t forget that you deserve to show yourself some love and that you are deserving of the love you show to others!